I feel guilty and responsible.
I am an idiot.

I have an old hippie friend who is in his 60's and looks like Jerry Garcia and Santa Claus' love child. He has heart trouble, and I keep expecting him to just keel over dead one fine day (hopefully not while he's eating or drinking in my store.) He loves my cooking and comes in daily for lunch, always choosing the healthiest option in an attempt to thwart the grim reaper. He is a smart man, a good person, and he is very lonely. He is also an alcholic who was told by his doctor that he absolutely cannot drink alcohol or he will die. This is a fact I did not know when I invited him to join our Beer Club a few months ago. As a matter of fact, I cheerfully told him in no uncertain terms that his doctor was out of the loop, that up to two beers a day (for men) has been scientifically proven to be good for ones heart. So....he broke 3 years of sobriety at my urging.

Now, he is Beer Club's most dedicated member and one of my store's best beer-buying customers. He is very much exceeding the 2 drink a day rule I suggested to him, unless he happens to be giving an awful lot of beer away, which I doubt. At our last beer club he spent over 60.00 on beer (even though we gave away 6 generous tastings for free) and drank almost all of it before the night was through.

I cannot express the horror I feel at my piss-poor lack of judgment!
This nice, nice man has been thrown off the wagon by my stupid ass. My big, fat mouth is responsible for potentially hastening his demise and returning him to the drug that almost killed him in the first place. I'm having alot of trouble with the fact that I cannot undo this. I tried talking to him about it, checking in with how he's doing on our 2-a-day guidelines and he brushed me off and said he's having the time of his life (getting drunk alone at home....wheeeee!)

Even one of my probably-alcoholic, party-loving friends (who has shown no desire whatsoever to recover) said that I did a bad, bad thing by getting this poor man drinking again.

My God, what have I done?