5 days?
6 days?

I still have not slept.
I cannot eat.
I am now sick - headache and coughing and almost total incoherence.
I've lost 8 pounds in a week.
If I weren't so vain I would post a picture of my poor eyes...formerly pretty eyes that now look like I've spent the last month on a meth binge.
My face is white as a sheet, and I have a fever.
The things coming out of my mouth are suddenly uncencored and vulgar...I use curse words for emphasis (the correct usage, imo) but lately I've been filling my sentences with wild, stampeding herds of them and (worse) forgetting not to use them in front of my son. Oops.
Basically, I am not well.

Today I am going to the doctor, prepared to take anything that will make this horror stop. I no longer feel crackling and alive....I feel like my mind has snapped and leaked out every bit of whatever was in there holding my thoughts together. It has never been this bad for me. Close, but never this bad. I need this shit ripped out of me! It's tense and wound like a tightly coiled spring....ravenously waiting for the fight, the screaming sex, the drug, or the dancing to the point of exhaustion that might allow this pressure some avenue to get the hell out of my head.

The bright side: I have friends who make me very happy through even the worst of my lunacy and, like a kiss on a skinned knee, the pain goes away - at least for a little while. So you smile and I smile and we laugh and talk and dance and dream and ponder. Thank you so much for being there for me.