Wow....it's been awhile since I've posted anything.  
Actually it feels like it's been awhile since my brain last functioned.   

I've been busy working - alternately loving my job and wanting to strangle my boss (whom I love dearly in spite of her insanity.)  We went on vacation - 9 days to Orlando that went by in a flash and took every cent of our money.  We have 12.00 to our name right now.  Seriously.  My dad is busy dying and trying to remain optimistic that he'll beat the overwhelming odds against him and live a little longer.  I'm trying not to have a personal breakdown.....my little mental problem is definitely in depress mode right now and I am fighting it for all I'm worth.  The best I can do is just go numb and be a walking robot.  I guess it's better than crying and getting angry about everything.  I just miss the feeling of joy.  Daughter is pregnant.  Yes, that's right.  Pregnant.  And today there were four (count 'em, four) black eyed peas sneakily mixed in with my bag of frozen lima beans.  What is the world coming to?

All that said, I'm grateful for my husband who thinks I'm completely beautiful and amazing, even though I know he is far beyond delusional.  For my son, who is may well be the loveliest, smartest, kindest creature ever born....he acquired all the very best of what Jon and I had to offer, it seems.  For my mom, who is bravely facing old(er) age and growing old alone without falling to pieces (and whom I love in spite of....well, alot of things.)  For my neices and the sweet smiles and giggles and innocence that remind me that my daughter's situation isn't necessarily the end of the world.  For my friends, the whole bizarre mismatched bunch of them.  For the gift of music....life would be colorless without it.  And for my little family's good physical health, as I watch a friend who is younger than me wither away before my eyes from cancer, a three year old whose parents face a scan every three months to let them know if the deadly brain cancer has returned, and yet another friend bury her 38 year old ex-husband and loving father of their sweet daughter from the same damned thing.  Plus, it killed my beloved grandfather (my favorite person) and it's working hard at killing my dad.  I hate cancer....the way it steals and kills in an agonizingly painful way and removes so many from this world in an untimely manner.

I'm going now to swallow both some lima beans, four brave black-eyed peas who defied their fate somehow, and the terrible lump in my throat that has seemed to be a permanent fixture of late.  It's okay, though, for tomorrow is another day (says Scarlett) and no matter how gray life gets for us sometimes things could always, always be worse.