Reading Noam Chomsky's "Language and Politics" upon the advice of several friends.  They kept telling me that he is someone who thinks like me.  Turns out that he pretty much does.  Or I guess I should stop being a megalomaniac and admit that I think like him, since he's older and smarter than I am.  Funny how similar two minds can be when I've never even heard or read his views before.  Politically I've just made up my own mind about how things should be as I've lived and thought and learned, being constantly dissatisfied with pretty much everyone in government.  I've always known I was a Socialist at heart.  It's confirmed without a doubt now.

That said, now who should I vote for in this damned looming election????  Ugh.  I've waited too long to take advantage of the easy early voting, unfortunately.  Now I get to go and wait in the freezing cold for an hour or two to help elect (as if my vote really counts....) someone who I don't particularly trust or want in office to begin with.  Ugh.

Oh well.  Enough thinking about the political machine.  It's Halloween!  My favorite holiday!  This year I get to spend it working (joy!) instead of taking my scary little Meathead trick-or-treating. I am a thousand times bummed about this.  It's breaking my heart.  

Girl Talk.
I don't care for the CDs, but I sure like the party!

I do not wish to be embalmed.
I have a better plan.

To be embalmed is to be....
Bathed and disinfected by someone I don't know.  Joints bent and broken to relieve rigor mortis, so I can be posed in a restful sleeping position.  Mouth held shut by sutures, so it doesn't fly open at an inopportune time and scare the shit out of some poor fool at the "viewing."  
There will be many embalming chemicals pumped in to replace my blood, and then my whole body will be vigorougsly massaged to ensure proper distribution of said fluids (so I don't burst wide open and make a mess, God forbid.)  Then, all my organs will be vacuumed out through a hole in my belly, which is then corked up so I don't leak.
Finally, the spa treatment.....make up and hair done, etc. so everyone can file by at my final party and exclaim, "She looks so BEAUTIFUL!  So LIFELIKE!"  Dear God, is there anything in this world stupider than that particular phrase?

By the way....there's something very, very strange about people's reaction to seeing a corpse.
I'm sorry, but dead bodies are not beautiful (except to the necromantics among us), or peaceful, or lifelike.  They are simply dead. The special kind of "lovely wind" that made them your beloved wife/lover/mother/friend has exited the building, and it shows.  

Anyhow.....the coffin lid is shut, you get to lead the parade of cars as V.I.P for the day, which sounds okay, even though you don't get to look out the window during the ride and enjoy feeling like Queen Elizabeth as you observe all but the rudest members of the county stop driving and wait for your parade to pass by.  On the other hand, there's even a real-live LIMO for your lucky nearest and dearest to ride in! And they, being still breathing, can revel in the celebrity on the way to the graveyard.  "Once more around the block, please?"  Finally, you find your destiny - taking up some of the earth's precious real estate as you and your fancy box lie 6 feet underground, rotting away slowly - fingernails and hair still a-growing - as family members (might) make the pilgrimage to decorate the grass above with flowers on your birthday.  Flowers that will either be (1) tacky and plastic or (2) dead in a month.

Have hope, my friends!  This atrocity need not be!
You may choose to have an at-home funeral.  Families have far more rights to do whatever they want to do with their loved ones bodies than most people realize.  Coffins may be purchased online for a mere fraction of what a funeral home will charge.  Caskets are marked up tremendously.   A $3,500 casket generally costs the "home" about $700.  That is evil business, in my opinion, fleecing grieving people out of their money like that......preying on sad people's misplaced and pointless desire to give their dead loved one "the best going away party money can buy!"

Personally, I want my "good" organs (the ones that may be useful in saving the lives of others) taken out via scalpel.  Then burn the rest....in a cheap canvas bag or a pine box.  Give my ashes first to my husband, who is under strict orders to keep me by his bed and talk to me every night, and then, later, to my children, who will wonder what on earth they should do with me after my husband has joined me in death.  Imagining S & E puzzling over what to do with our ashes is a source of mirth to me, I must admit.  To me, this end is so much more dignified and normal than what our society traditionally does to our loved ones remains.

So.....for the hundred billionth time in my life, I am spending a few minutes pondering this whole funeral tradition thing and wonder what in the hell is WRONG with the status quo.

I know many people who are in trouble right now.  Quite a few of them pulling their money out of the bank.....dumping their stocks, etc.  I know a man who chose to empty his (sizeable) accounts and purchase gold.  The homosapien personal preservation instinct may end up leading us directly into another depression.  My mom has lost $16,000 out of her retirement investment plan in the last year alone.  Her job is on the chopping block.  She is cashing in alot of her accounts to pay off her mortgage early so she won't be in threat of losing her home in case the shit really does hit the fan.  She's scared.  I know several other people who are also facing employment/financial insecurity.  

These are serious times, and after watching the Presidential debates thus far, I must be frank and say that I find no redeemer on the TV screen.   I don't think Obama has a real plan for the economy....it appears that he hasn't thought much past securing the Presidency.  If he has a plan, he certainly has been unable to communicate it clearly thus far.  I think McCain has very decisive plans, many of which are not foolish plans at all.  The problems is that all of his plans will likely be stalemated by his Republican cabinet/advisors who all pretty much hate him and his "maverick" ideals.  Add to that the fact that he is old as dirt and in poor health and his runner up is the most nationally clueless, unqualified soccer mom-slash-politician he could've possibly chosen.  Nope.  We're screwed.

So far, my little family is marching along as we always do....broke, but not too broke.....one crisis or busted pipe away from being in serious trouble.....trying not to let the love of or fear of or lack of money ruin the fact that life is a great thing that should always, always be enjoyed.  Right now we are saving money as quickly as possible, because our vacation - taking our son to Disney World - is right around the corner.  This particular trip will cost as much as a reliable used car. Ugh.  But our son is obsessed with Disney and he is growing up so very fast.  And we love the weird little fellow.  Alot.  So, we will keep on living our lives a step at a time.  I guess there will be plenty of time to worry when the food runs out.

Lou Reed's "Coney Island Baby" is a truly excellent song.
For those of you not familiar with the song, it's well worth the .99 download fee from I-Tunes.
Or you could always go the clandestine route, for all you junkies out there.  Wink wink.